When You Arrive Late To Your Own Journey

When my husband and I first married, he’d often lament that God didn’t bring us together ten years sooner. “Just think,” he’d say. “If we’d met ten years ago, we could have been married all this time.” To which I’d smile and nod, take a sip of coffee, and all the while think, “Oh honey, if we’d met ten years ago, not only would I have not married you, I wouldn’t have even dated you.” 

The truth is I wasn’t ready to get married ten years earlier. For starters, hello, I would have only been eighteen. But more importantly, my husband had very weird hairstyles during that time period. I’ve seen the pictures. And trust me, it wouldn’t have worked out. 

Looking back, I’m willing to admit it may have been more about me needing some time to grow and mature. To get past a few idealized notions of what marriage should look like. Maybe even what hairstyles should look like. I needed time to want it and not have it, so I’d be ready to work hard for it once I did have it. Because let’s face, marriage—even a great marriage—can be hard work. 

I can’t help but see similarities with my writing life. I’ve asked God more than a few times, “Why didn’t you light a fire inside of me to write novels ten years ago? Or even sooner? Just think, I could have been writing fabulous stories all this time. I might have even been published by now.”

To which I’m pretty sure God smiles and nods, (perhaps takes a sip of coffee, who knows) and says, “Oh honey, if you’d started writing ten years ago, not only would you not be published, you wouldn’t have even written good stories.”

Seems the road to publication is a lot like marriage. It’s hard work. And you may need some time to grow and mature—maybe get past a few idealized notions of what it should look like—before you’re ready to pursue it. You may even need time to want it and not have it just so you’ll be ready to work hard for it once you do have it.   

Now granted, there are some teenagers and twenty-somethings who are wonderful writers. They not only have great stories to tell, they tell them well. They’re the types of writers who, when you read their biographical blurb on the back cover, claim to have come out of the womb with a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other and were able to write down their entire birth story before they even took a first breath. 

I hate those types of writers. 

Okay, not really. But I do envy them. I mean, come on. Don’t you? Just say you do, so we can start a support group for all of us who came out of the womb without a pencil or clue we wanted to write until we were much older and felt like we were already behind in the game. I’ll send out a sign-up sheet for snacks later.

Or…all right, fine. Maybe rather than hate them or envy them, we can try one other option.

We can encourage them. We can stop comparing our own journeys—whether that be in writing, marriage, kids, careers, whatever—with everyone else’s journey and trust that God is working out the best timing for our own journey. 

Because let’s face it, a lot of us need time to grow and mature. And occasionally…well, some of us just need time to get a different haircut.